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Bishop Hughes addresses the emotional toll of hate and injustice in today’s world, acknowledging the pain many feel while emphasizing that responding to hate with hate leads to spiritual emptiness. Instead, she recommends three daily practices: cultivating gratitude, actively helping others, and seeking rest – both physical and spiritual – which will fortify us for the demanding ministry needed today. (Time: 6:06.)
Video TranscriptThis is Bishop Hughes in the Diocese of Newark. Recently, someone shared with me what they’re struggling with in this time that we’re in, and as they said it: “You know what? These people hate us and I hate them right back.” And then they went on to say that it didn’t actually make them feel better to hate them right back, but they couldn’t stand what people were doing so much, they didn’t know what else to do but to hate them right back. But it didn’t leave them in a good place. Of course, it didn’t leave them in a good place, because that is not how God created us to be.
On one hand, I completely understand that hate in response, when you feel out of control, when you’re watching abuse of power, when you’re watching corruption, when you’re watching people be diminished or be dehumanized or spoken of in ways that are dehumanizing, in addition to the behavior towards them that is dehumanizing. When you see the loss of decency on a large scale, when you see the kind of re-interpretation of things that are historical fact, as if that they are something that we can simply forget and life will go right on. That when you see all of these things, and when you know people whose lives are in danger, of course you’re going to have a reaction to that.
So my question for us is, how do we react in such a way that we’re joining Jesus Christ, and that we are living out bold acts of justice, peace and love as we follow Jesus Christ – that’s what our mission statement says. We invite people to join us in following Jesus Christ into bold acts of justice, peace and love. It sounds like just the ticket for right now, but also it is a hard place to be when we watch the level of disregard for the dignity of other people go on.
So one of the things that I’m aware of is that when you’ve got a big task in front of you, it’s important to orient yourself towards that task. So we know that what we want to do is live into these bold acts of justice, peace and love, and what will help us do that? I’ve got three things in mind. One, that we need to practice gratitude. We need to spend time being grateful for the things that God has given us. That we pay attention every day, all throughout the day, different times in the day, thanking people for the goodness that they bring into our lives, or for the gift that they have given us just by their very presence or by taking care of something. And that we also are grateful for the world that God has put us in, that we notice the things that are part of creation, and that we’re grateful for those things. When you are spending time practicing gratitude, you forget to be fearful and you forget to be full of hatred, because you get very much caught up in the love that God has for all of us. So one is practicing gratitude.
Two is to help God’s people, wherever they are and with whatever they need. And when I say God’s people, I mean all people, because God created all people. I don’t mean just Episcopalians. I don’t mean just Christians who believe the way you believe, but I mean all people. When God says, “Feed my sheep,” God isn’t talking about one or two little sheep from one herd. God is saying a”ALL of the sheep!” Please take care of God’s people. When we start taking care of God’s people, then we forget to think of ourselves as helpless. Find somebody every day that you can help.
And then the last thing that I think is really important right now is to get good rest. Some of this is we are tired. We’re tired of the non-stop intensity, the non-stop abuse that we’re seeing, the-non stop lying that we’re seeing, the non-stop distortion of things, that that wears us down. So what we have to do is put ourselves in the place where we see truth and where we see love and where we see God’s peace. Part of that is getting enough sleep, but part of that is taking a break for those other things. Take a break from your devices. Take a break from cable news. Take a break from the voices that are bent on telling you what you cannot accomplish, and put yourself in the presence of God, whether that’s go sit in a quiet church someplace, or to sit in your backyard or in a park or go for a walk, to read scripture, to listen to your favorite music or listen to hymns that you like, to read spiritual autobiographies – put yourself in a place where you get not only good physical rest, but good spiritual rest.
It takes hard work, deep faithfulness and fortitude to do the kind of ministry that we’re talking about doing today. And if you are one who wants to live into those bold acts of justice, peace and love, then it is very important that you feed your own spirit. So on a daily basis, find ways, look at ways, to practice gratitude. Make that part of your life on a daily basis. Find someone that you can help. Make that a part of your life. On a daily basis, put yourself in the presence of God and get good rest. No matter how it is you want to serve God and God’s people, God will meet you there you.

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We’re living in a time right now where we’ve got to work through chaos, says Bishop Hughes, and the way we do that as Christians is we show our love. Recording this video in her kitchen where she’s preparing a special dinner for some diocesan members – “Cooking is my love language,” she says – she urges us all to think and pray about how we can show love with actions as well as words. (Time: 4:44.)

Video Transcript

This is Bishop Hughes in the Diocese of Newark. It is the second week of Easter, which means we’re in those great 50 days of Easter. And I am not filming at my desk today. I’m making this little tape as I stand in the kitchen. I got up early before I have to be in the office because I have people coming over for dinner tonight, and I’m excited about those people. They’re a marginalized group in the world, and I don’t want them to feel marginalized in our church.
So I’ve invited members of the trans community and our transgender community in our diocese over for dinner tonight. And one of the things that happens for me, naturally, when I cook is I think about the people who are coming. I want to make sure that they know that they are loved and cared for. And cooking is my love language, it is how I let people know that they are really, truly cared for. I hope and pray that we have really great conversation. And most of all, I want them to know that they are not alone, and they are beloved by God and beloved by me.
So I’m excited to have them here. But I have to say I’m at that point in the kitchen where I wish I could just stay, but I’ve got meetings, I’ve got to get into the office. But I just want to share with you a little bit of the disaster that it looks like this morning.
I think every cook recognizes this moment where things are not neat and tidy. As a matter of fact, they’re kind of everywhere. There’s a long ways to go. The only thing I’ve gotten done this morning is dessert, but it’s easier to get dessert done. Texas sheet cake, by the way, for those of you who know it and like it. But there’s still a ways to go, while on the other side of the kitchen, you can see some of the stuff – potatoes that only get peeled later tonight, there’s a butternut squash that’s already chopped up and veggies that have to be chopped up – but this is what it’s like when you’re pulling dinner together.
And I show you all the messy part, not just to say, Oh, look, this is what it looks like in my kitchen when I’m baking – I’m sure it looks as messy in yours when you’re cooking or doing whatever you’re getting done to get the next meal ready – but it’s to remind us that every single day of our lives we work through some mess, through some dirt, through some chaos, in order to get to something that we really like and something that we really want. And we’re living in a time right now where we’ve got to work through the mess. We’ve got to work through the chaos, and the way we do that as Christians is we show our love.
And so in these great 50 days of Easter, I wonder how every single person in this diocese could show their love. Show your love to someone who’s marginalized. Show your love to someone whose rights are being compromised. Show your love to those who need to know that they are loved. It might mean that you feel a little awkward. It might mean that you don’t quite know what to say or what to do. But think about it and pray about it first. I thought about this and prayed about it, like how, what’s my best way to support people in the transgender community in the diocese and let them know, other than my words, which I have shared frequently – no one’s surprised by my stance – but other than my words, how can I let them know? And it just struck me, this is one of the ways I show people that I love them.
So there is a strand of Christianity that is very much focused on proving who is wrong, who does not belong, where Satan is, and who God cannot tolerate. And I can’t help but look at the God who incarnated fully human, fully divine, in order to be with us and keep us connected to God forever – I can’t help but look at that and feel nothing but expansive love. And what Jesus tells us to do is to love our neighbor, and that when we see someone to love, that in some way, we are seeing Christ in that person.
So we’ve got 50 more days of – well, I guess it’s more like 47, or 43… math is not my gift – but we’ve got a number of days in front of us to still celebrate Easter, and I invite you to celebrate it in this specific way. Let people know that they are loved by God and loved by you. Show that love as much as you say that love.