Getting through chaos by showing our love-Bishop Carlye Hughes

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We’re living in a time right now where we’ve got to work through chaos, says Bishop Hughes, and the way we do that as Christians is we show our love. Recording this video in her kitchen where she’s preparing a special dinner for some diocesan members – “Cooking is my love language,” she says – she urges us all to think and pray about how we can show love with actions as well as words. (Time: 4:44.)

Video Transcript

This is Bishop Hughes in the Diocese of Newark. It is the second week of Easter, which means we’re in those great 50 days of Easter. And I am not filming at my desk today. I’m making this little tape as I stand in the kitchen. I got up early before I have to be in the office because I have people coming over for dinner tonight, and I’m excited about those people. They’re a marginalized group in the world, and I don’t want them to feel marginalized in our church.
So I’ve invited members of the trans community and our transgender community in our diocese over for dinner tonight. And one of the things that happens for me, naturally, when I cook is I think about the people who are coming. I want to make sure that they know that they are loved and cared for. And cooking is my love language, it is how I let people know that they are really, truly cared for. I hope and pray that we have really great conversation. And most of all, I want them to know that they are not alone, and they are beloved by God and beloved by me.
So I’m excited to have them here. But I have to say I’m at that point in the kitchen where I wish I could just stay, but I’ve got meetings, I’ve got to get into the office. But I just want to share with you a little bit of the disaster that it looks like this morning.
I think every cook recognizes this moment where things are not neat and tidy. As a matter of fact, they’re kind of everywhere. There’s a long ways to go. The only thing I’ve gotten done this morning is dessert, but it’s easier to get dessert done. Texas sheet cake, by the way, for those of you who know it and like it. But there’s still a ways to go, while on the other side of the kitchen, you can see some of the stuff – potatoes that only get peeled later tonight, there’s a butternut squash that’s already chopped up and veggies that have to be chopped up – but this is what it’s like when you’re pulling dinner together.
And I show you all the messy part, not just to say, Oh, look, this is what it looks like in my kitchen when I’m baking – I’m sure it looks as messy in yours when you’re cooking or doing whatever you’re getting done to get the next meal ready – but it’s to remind us that every single day of our lives we work through some mess, through some dirt, through some chaos, in order to get to something that we really like and something that we really want. And we’re living in a time right now where we’ve got to work through the mess. We’ve got to work through the chaos, and the way we do that as Christians is we show our love.
And so in these great 50 days of Easter, I wonder how every single person in this diocese could show their love. Show your love to someone who’s marginalized. Show your love to someone whose rights are being compromised. Show your love to those who need to know that they are loved. It might mean that you feel a little awkward. It might mean that you don’t quite know what to say or what to do. But think about it and pray about it first. I thought about this and prayed about it, like how, what’s my best way to support people in the transgender community in the diocese and let them know, other than my words, which I have shared frequently – no one’s surprised by my stance – but other than my words, how can I let them know? And it just struck me, this is one of the ways I show people that I love them.
So there is a strand of Christianity that is very much focused on proving who is wrong, who does not belong, where Satan is, and who God cannot tolerate. And I can’t help but look at the God who incarnated fully human, fully divine, in order to be with us and keep us connected to God forever – I can’t help but look at that and feel nothing but expansive love. And what Jesus tells us to do is to love our neighbor, and that when we see someone to love, that in some way, we are seeing Christ in that person.
So we’ve got 50 more days of – well, I guess it’s more like 47, or 43… math is not my gift – but we’ve got a number of days in front of us to still celebrate Easter, and I invite you to celebrate it in this specific way. Let people know that they are loved by God and loved by you. Show that love as much as you say that love.